Flower Pot Ball

I can't believe how many balls Gran has roped me into! Tonight there's the stupid Flower Pot ball! Guess who picked my dress?
Not, me. Gran got oue seamstress to make me this horrific pink frilly...thing. I HATE pink! I do not wish to wear a dress that makes me look like a dying rose! I want to wear a dress that I chose!
Of course I'm pretty luck I got to pick my back to school dance dress. Speaking of which Victor told me he hasn't invited anyone to the dance, he told me he was too busy. PLeeaase, her doesn't work on friday nights, and he could have gotten any girl he wanted as a date. Vic has been acting really wierd lately...

My Dance Date

I have a date for the Back-to-School dance! His name is Ryan, he asked me right after math. I am so happy!
Of course Gran had a fit. She wanted me to go with some Prince she has dragged in from goodness konws where. Of course now she has to send him back. Stella is really angry too, maybe she and Gran have some sort of connection...
But this time I got to pick my dress! It's a mermaid gown, but it's blue, sparkly and it has straps. My purse and shoes match. I am so excited!

More Balls, parties, etc

Here's a list of the parties I HAVE to go to.

The 1st annual Star Ball
the 123rd annual Flower Pot Ball
The 45th annual Book parade
The Ladies only Garden Party
The Independence day ball
The Cat Preserver's lunchen
The 50th annual Children's ball
And last but not least
KING SEYMOUR HIGH'S BACK TO SCHOOL DANCE!

I Loathe School

I had the WORST day at school! I forgot to study for my history test, I had a HUGE cut on my knee, lunch was awful and Victor is sick. I loathe school.
Everyone thinks because I'm a princess I don't have bad days. Pleeaase, ever since that stupid ball I've been having more and more bad days. Oh yeah, it's great to be a princess.

Watching Theo fence

Okay! I had no idea Orville was here! I had no idea any of these Princes were here! There are about twenty Princes in here fencing with my brother, not to boast but Theo is the best.
Is this what my brother and cousin do all day? Why didn't anyone tell me? Oh, that's right, I'm only 15.
This isn't very exciting, I'm might as well go downstairs and have lunch...

Mad, bad day

I've had the worst day! First, Victor is on duty so I can't talk to him, Gina is at work, and Roz is grounded so I have no one to talk to. I wish my Saturdays were more interesting.
Of course Stella is out with some new boyfriend of hers. Theo and Harry are fencing (again). Daddy is with the Prime Minister and Gran is planning by great social life. I suppose I could go watch Theo fence...

More Love Letters

HOW MANY LETTERS CAN ONE GUY SEND? Ever since I turned him down Orville seems to think I will change my mind if only he can send me enough letters. I burn them, of course.
I have gotten some letters from other Princes, Prince Granville (um, no.), Prince Albert (nope), Prince Ludwig (definatly not).How am I suppossed to find a Prince if I don't like any of them?
I've started giving all the other princes letters to Gina and Roz, they get a kick out of them. I showed Victor one of them and he got surly and stalked off. Maybe he's mad because I gave the funny ones to Gina and Roz.

Picking on the Princess

Mother says that if she comes to the kitchen one more time and finds me sitting at the kitchen table in PJs, eating ice cream with Victor, she will ground me. I can't believe it! Well, the ice cream for breakfast part, maybe. But what's wrong with the (very modest) PJs and Victor?
Gran says that if she catches Gina and me rollerblading in the ball room again, she will ground me. The floors in there are marble, for Pete's sake! And we've only done it twice.
Daddy says that if he catches Roz and me doing thai chi on the front lawn again he will ground me. Please, no one can see us. Plus we can talk to Victor if he's on garden duty.
That's alot of griping for three people. Why are they sending me to school if they don't want me to hang out with my friends? I have the most picky family in the kingdom!

Conversation with Daddy

Daddy and I went for a walk today, he wanted to discuss Orville.

Daddy: What do you think of Prince Orville.
Ramona: He's okay, I guess.
Daddy: Do you have the ring he sent you?
Ramona: No.
Daddy: Where is it?
Ramona: I sent it back.
Daddy: You don't want to marry him then?
Ramona: Daddy, I never wanted to marry him! I loathe every part of his being!
Daddy: Ramona!
Ramona: I've never liked Orville very much and I do not want to spend the rest of my life with, merely because you think he's a nice guy!
Daddy: Okay, okay, you don't have to marry Orville. But, we will find you a husband soon.
Ramona: Why does it have to be arranged? Why can't I just pick someone I like?
Daddy: We have to make sure you are well provided for...
Ramona: I don't care if I live in a ditch, just so long as I like the person I'm married to!
At this point I stalked off.
Well, the good thing is I don't have to marry Orville. The bad thing is I doubt I'll get to marry the guy I like. I refuse to marry someone I barely know.

Coversation with Victor

Today after school Victor and I were lounging around the kitchen eating ice cream and I told him about the letter.

Victor: Oh. So I guess you'll be Mrs. Twinkle Orville soon.
Ramona: I'm not going to marry Orville. He's boring, rude, he smells, steps on my toes and he actually owns a pony named Distsybob. We have NOTHING in common!
Victor: Except for the fact that you're both about to be engaged.
Ramona: What!
Victor: I over heard Estella talking to her maid about all the plans she has for your arranged marrige to Prince Orville.
Ramona: Vic, I don't want to marry Orville!
Victor: Maybe we can come up with a plan.
Ramona: There's no way, Stella can get whatever she wants.
Victor: Maybe it won't fall through there are tons of other princes in this world.

I never noticed it before, but Victor has REALLY nice eyes...

Stella's post

Stella? Ramona, that's a nickname! You're not supposed to use it puplically!

Ramona: What was I supposed to call you, Estella Marie Anne Grace?

Stella: Well, it is my name. And isn't this supposed to be MY post.
I notice Ramona hasn't mentioned the name if our kingdom. It is the country of Dagmar. Our father, King Seymour Titus Ivor Benedict, reigns. Our Mother, Queen Leonora, is also the treasurer. Our Grandmama is Dowager Queen, Beatrix Elizabeth Ramona Alice Joanne. My brother Theodore Alexander Benedict Ivor Johnathan, will inherit the throne. I am enegaged to marry Sir Arthur Billingham. Theodore will marry Lady Camron Billingham and Ramona will shortly be engaged to Prince Orville of Pottry.

Ramona; Thank you, Stella, for that enlightening post.

P.S. I'll run away before I marry Orville.

ARRRGH!

I am so mad at Theo! I put that letter from Orville on the table while I was taking a bath and Theo found it. Of course he read it and told Stella, who told Mother, who told Gran, who told Daddy. Now they (Mother, Gran & Stella) are bugging me about the letter.
They are all, Daddy inclued, acting like I've said yes and the wedding is in two weeks! Okay, first of all, I barely known Orville. Secondly, I can't legally get married until I'm 18. And thirdly, I may not know Orville that well, but what I know I loathe.
I burned the letter today and I sent the ring back. I don't care what my family says when they find out. I just know I will NEVER be the twinkle in Orville's tinsel!

Love Letter

You are going to laugh when you hear what just happened (Gina giggled herself stupid when I called her). I have just recived a love letter from none other than Prince Orville. Get a load of this.

Dearest Ramona,
I have felt for sometime, and I know you feel the same way, that we were mean't to be. I know my life can never be complete without you. You are the sun in my shine, the twinkle in my tinsel, the foir in my gras...
I am sorry I cannot be with you to ask you this question (Ditsybob, my pony is sick), but will you marry me? Ramona, we will be so happy together! I promise. Please, dear, kind, beatuiful, Princess Ramona Elizabeth Theodora Kathleen, be my wife.
I have enclosed the ring I would have given you, had it not been for Ditsybob's cold, please wear it and I shall be with you shortly.
Your Loving, soon-to-be husband
Orville Lovell Manley

I'm not about to become the twinkle in anybody's tinsel! I am NEVER going to marry Orville! He and Ditsybob will get along with out me. This letter is going in the fire and this ugly ring is going back to Orville.
Wait a sec, it's not legal for fifteen year-old to get married. SWEET!

The Killer Ball

Sorry I didn't write about the ball yesterday, I was REALLY tired. Roz, Gina and I all got to dance with Orlando Bloom! He's wonderful!Of course Victor and Barry were dancing with Lady Cami (Camron) over and over and over.
Most of the princes were total drips. Half of them stepped on my toes and the other half talked non-stop. Prince William was cool, I got to dance with him twice!
Our plan went pretty well, but someone's cell phone went off at dinner (I think it was Olando's) and Victor thought it was the orchestra and they all started to enter as planned. Luckily I saw them and called Gina. I had my phone under my dress and I put it on speaker so I wouldn't have to pick it up. Fortuntely no one could hear me because it was so noisy.
Dinner was okay, but I was sitting next to Prince Orville who smells, talks non-stop AND steped on my toes. The food was good but after hearing Orville talking about his stupid polo ponys for an hour I thought I was going to throw up all that foir gras and steak.
One of the more embaressing moments was when I was dancing with Orville, I managed to break the heel on my shoe.Gina and I had to run up to my room and dig out an old pair of peach flats. Man, we're lucky Gran didn't see us. Of course we are lucky no one saw my friends.
Around mid-night I had to take out my earings because I thought my ears were about to drop off. My tiara was killin' me and my neclace was rubbing my neck raw. And to add insult to injury my dress itched.
The worst part of the ball was Stella whistpering, "So, did you like him? Isn't Prince _______ lovely?" Okay, to tell the truth the only guys I liked at the ball were Orlando, William and Victor. Did I just say that out loud?

The BIG (like really important) Day

I'm not dead YET, but I will be if someone catches my friends. Or if I mess something up.
So in five minutes I'm off to get hair and make-up done (groan). Then at 1:00 Mother, Gran and Stella are going to watch me try on my dress for the last time. At 2:00 I'm going to have my nails checked over. At 3:00 I'm going to get all my jewelry. And at 4:00 I can put all the stuff on and wait till 7:00.
I'm not dead YET...

Plan Flaws

1) On Saturday no one can come into my room

Our new plan:
Gina, Barry and Roz will come up rickety stairs as planned. They will all go to Victor's room where their clothes will be waiting. They will change and then go down stairs and through a door near the bathrooms so it will look like they merely when too the bathroom.
Viola or Voila, whatever, It's a good plan!

Victor: We need to stagger our entrances too. Because it would look wierd if we had ALL gone to the bathroom.

Barry: Good point.

Gine: Who will go first?

Victor: Um...

Roz: Let's rock, paper, sissors for it.

All: Rock, paper, sissors, shoot.

Barry: Wait, you can't to rock, paper sissors with four people.

Gina: Yeah, you can.

Victor: No you can't. Girls go first, Barry plays winner. Then I play winner.

Gina beat Roz. Barry Beat Gina and Victor.

Victor: Okay, Barry will go first. Roz can go next, I'd better go next. Sorry, Gina, you're last.

Roz: What are we going to do once we get out there?

Victor: Find someplace to sit down and give Ramona moral support.

Ramona: Oh my gosh! I forgot, their're serving dinner!

Victor: We can stay in my room and eat sandwitches until we hear the music start. Then we can sneak down.

Gina: Okay, that's pretty sraight forward.

This is going to be so good!

Free Time!

Here I am during my free time with Gina, Victor Roz and Barry (all of whom I'm not allowed to invite.
Our plan:
Roz will arrive through the kitchen pretending she and Victor are going out. They will both pretend to leave and come to my room. Gina will spend the night and never leave. And Barry will pretend to bring me a present.

Victor: Isn't this a little obvious? I mean shouldn't both girls spend the night and them pretend to leave. Then I could let them in the kitchen door and they could come back to your room.

Ramona: I asked mother if Gina and Roz could spend the night, but she said no.

Victor: Okay. Scratch that plan.

Gina: What is Roz and dressed up as cooks?

Victor: I'd never be able to get two spare uniforms.

Roz: What if Gina and I left our dresses and stuff here and then snuck in through that gate by the pond. We could go throught the kitchen, up the back stairs and through that door in your bedroom.

Barry: You've like memorized the Palace!

Gina: Roz and I are here nearly everyday and we always sneak in!

Victor: The only problem with you plan is I am calling in sick that night, so you can't go through the kitchen.

Ramona: What if you all go through the kitchen garden and go through that little door that leads to those really rickety stairs and from there through the servants quaters to my room.

Gina: Those are scary stairs.

Ramona: Well it's not going to be guarded and no one ever goes near there, so you won't be spotted.

Barry: Why don't we go and scope it out so we'll know where to go on saturday.

Victor: Yeah that's a good idea. And If we see anyone we can always duck into my room.

Roz: You live here?

Victor: Yeah, my dad's head gardener and my mom's a cook.

Ramona: and His sisters are my maids.

Barry: Sweet.

Ramona: Okay shall we go practice before my free time ends.

Gina: Let's go.

I really hope this plan works!

Today

Here's a list of what I have to do today.

Dress fitting (for the trillionth time)
Get nails done (who's going to look at my nails?)
Get facial (And break out again?)
Try on shoes (pinchy, pink)
Find jewery (heavy old jewelry)
Photographs (boring)
Dance lesson (it'd be fun if it didn't have anything to do with the ball)
Free time in which I will make arrangements for Gina and Victor.
Gina's ball gown is beautiful, blue, sparkly, everything mine isn't. She's even got a tiara so she will blend in even better. Victor is renting a tux and I am lending him a pocket watch so no one will look at him funny. maybe this ball will be okay after all.

Guest list reaction

I gave mother my guest list and she blew up! She yelled for about and hour then Gran showed up and they yelled until Stella arrived and then they yelled some more. Now I'm not allowed to invite Gina and Barry (because their parents are divorced), Rozanne, because she lives in Heywood (a slum near the river) and Victor, because he's a dishwasher and a year older than me.
I am going to smuggle them in because I can't survive without them. I bet they could hide in my bedroom and no one would ever find them. Plus, once they were at the ball no one would be able to find them.
This is the best plan I have ever cooked up. Maybe this ball won't be so bad...

Guest list

Here are ALL the people mother wants to invite to my ball.

Guest list (with commentary by Ramona)

Prince Baldwin (who?)
Prince Zebadee (Uh, no.)
Prince Hadrian (definatly not)
Prince Louis (Nope)
Prince Morton (Is she crazy? NO!)
Prince Robert (NO! NO! NO!)
Okay, I hate mother's whole list, here is a list of people I want to invite.

Gina Lee Parker (my best friend)
Fleur Yyves (My best friend from France)
Savannah Hart (friend)
Rozanne Drabble (friend)
Teal Stone
Opal, Ruby and Pearl Brown (Triplets)
Troy Baker
Tracy Greene
Connie Hill
Owen Smith
Barry Parker (Gina's older brother)
Orlando Bloom (DUH!)
Prince William
Prince Harry
Johnny Depp
The Jonas Brothers (I really hope they dress properly)
Lady Camron Sheffeild (Friend)
Victor John (I know he's a dishwasher dude, but he's still cool.)
Anne Hathaway
Daniel Radcliff
Rupert Grint
Emma Watson
Tom Felton
Shawn White (snow boarder!)
and a whole bunch of other cool people!

Stella: Ramona! You are inviting a snow boarder to your ball? Absolutely not! And those Jonas Brothers! They look like hobos!You're inviting Victor John? He washed dishes for goodness sake! You can't invite him! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Ramona: While she yells I'll go give this list to mother.

Theo's Post

Yeah, ever since Ramona turned fifteen the whole palace has been in an uproar. There's always some caterer or dressmaker coming, Harry and I have to go away becuse someone is going to came and polish the chandelier or color code party favors. Please, it's just a ball.

Stella: Good Grief, Theodore! This is not "just a ball", this is Ramona's coming out ball. Soon she will be the most popular eligible young lady in the Kingdom! Won't that be lovely, Mona?

Ramona: Gee, how could I resist?

Theo: Gosh, this isn't just a ball. Golly gee Ramona, you are going to be mobbed by guys who want to marry you. Sounds like fun. Sarcasm, sarcasm. sarcasm.

Stella: You're just jealouse because...

Ramona: While my siblings bicker, I'll just publish this post.

My new dress...

Makes me look like a cupcake. It's pink, frilly, girly and it's itchy! I don't want to go to this ball!
The other reason I don't want to go to the ball is the Princes. Prince Orville smells, Prince Albert talks to much, Prince Ludwig broke my sister's toe the last time he danced with her, Prince Granville is 94 and deaf, Prince Karl is 12 and these awful Princes go on and on!
Can you belive my own family are trying to marry me off to these Princes? You should hear Mother, Gran and Stella talk, "Ramona, darling, at the ball be sure to talk to Prince ______, I hear he has a very large income..." Oh, Ramona, that Prince So & So is such a nice young man. I hear he has very large esates..." "Ramona, Prince
________ is such a lovely boy and he has a wonderful house up in _______ville..."I would rather marry Victor, the dishwasher, than a Prince.
When I get married, it;s going to be to a great, non-boring person, who loves me, not my Gran. And he's not going to have large estates either, he had better live in a tiny one bedroom apartment!
Now I've got to go chose music for the ball, how about sk8ter boi? Ha ha, Gran would have a fit. No, I get to chose classical music. Great.

Gran's Post

Hello everyone. I'm Ramona's grandmother, HRH Beatrix Elizabeth Ramona Alice Joanne Queen of __________.
You know Ramona would be a very nice young lady if she only she stood up straight and stoped biting her nails and dressed like a girl and was a little less of a tom-boy and if she smiled more and...

Ramona: Okay, Gran, I think you've done enough for one day. Sorry everyone.

The Journals of HRH Ramona Elizabeth Theodora Kathleen

Okay, I'm only doing this because my friend, Gina said this was fun. I'm not sure she was telling the truth.
What's going on right now? Well, Mother is busy planning my coming-out ball. Daddy is writing a letter to a Prime Minister. My brother Theo is fencing with our cousin, Harry. Gran and Auntie Elizabeth are talking to the cook. My sister Stella is unpacking (she just arrived). And I am blogging.
Am I excited about the ball? You wish! All night squeezed into a itchy pink dress Gran, Mother and Stella chose and dancing with every available young man from three kingdoms. In other words, I'm dreading the ball.
Billiant, the seamstress is here. Got to go.